Share Your Hapa Story: Christy Chow

Share Your Hapa Story 025: Christy Chow @chris.tree.nah

"You are hapa, Christy, and you are proud of it!" Those words, cascading with powerful grace from my Hawaii-raised Chinese grandmother were constant and solid reminders of the gratitude and deep acknowledgement she hoped for me, and all of her hapa grandchildren, to carry close throughout life.

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“You are hapa, Christy, and that makes you different.” And the voice wasn’t my grandmother’s anymore—it was something tighter. Sharper.

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“You are hapa, Christy. You’re not, you know...white.” It was only as I grew older, as I ventured beyond the boundaries of my familial haven that I was "mixed," "half-Chinese," a "halfie." These weren’t necessarily bad things, but as I vacillated between eating my food with chopsticks when my middle school JV team went out for Chinese food, or reaching decidedly for a fork, I started to wonder which part of me I was choosing. Which part would make me less "different."

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“You are hapa, Christy, and you aren’t a Real Asian.” I had the last name. I had the horrifically stereotyped report card. I had the right things to say on the right holidays.

I did not have the eyes. I did not have one of the traditional vocational pathways. I did not have as deep a tie to many of the cultural practices that the other, more "legitimate" ones had.

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“You are hapa, Christy, and you are ready.”

A whisper from my years-gone Grandfather. A breeze of hope. A call for adventure.

And I left for a place I hoped would have answers. This time, though, it would not be to visit relatives. This time, it would be to live—to learn.

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“宝琴，你是混血儿.” “You are a mixed-blood person, Baoqin.” And in their eyes, I was different. But that was merely a fact—as much of a fact as my humanity and the fact that I had big eyes, ten fingers, ten toes, and liked green tea over pu-er. Just a fact. Nothing wrong. Nothing weird. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of. End of story, friendship still strong, without any pauses. Unblemished. “I think it’s kind of cool!” I felt hapa again.

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Hapa then. Hapa now. Hapa always.

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“I am Christy. I am #hapa. And I am so, so proud.”

Originally published December 14, 2018 on Instagram, #ShareYourHapaStory025